(Investigator 158, 2014 September)

Most websites about Jehovah's Witnesses are as serious as a blood transfusion but "Jehovah's Witness Blog" (JWB) tries to amuse.

Suppose you are "Mr Single" at a JW convention. What chat-up lines might get a "sister" interested and lead to a chaperoned date?

Here are some from JWB:
•    I’m following Jesus’ command to become a fisher of men. You seem like a great catch!

•    If your baptism had been a wet t-shirt contest, you'd have won 1st place.

•    Why am I staring at you? I am keeping my eyes on the prize.
    [Note: Keep Your Eyes on the Prize is the title of a JW hymn.]

•    No, I wasn’t staring at your chest. I was reading your lapel badge.

•    I must be a member of the 144,000 'cause when I look at you I am in heaven.
JWB also has the "Diary of an Armageddon Survivor" which begins with:
June 1st
Well, Armageddon is over and I survived. I made my way down to the Kingdom Hall this morning… A lot of brothers and sisters are still missing … our presiding overseer, told us that those who were missing should have spent more time in field service…
Since 1975 millions now living have left the sect, and the leaders aren't laughing.

Although they state "Jehovah's Witnesses do not malign, slander or harass expelled ones in any way" (Awake! 1983, November 8, p. 10), speakers at JW conventions in Denmark in 2013 likened lapsed JWs to a "deadly virus" and "snakes".

And The Watchtower recently called them "mentally diseased", sparking a police investigation whether this breached Britain's religious hatred laws.

The Watchtower says: "People are attracted to someone who uses kind, tactful speech…" (2002 July 22 p. 14) but the above sort of language hardly qualifies and probably would not make many friends.

Therefore it may be a while before both sides reach agreement.



Hundreds of articles about JWs on this website:

Dictionary of Jehovah's Witnesses at: